http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/fashion/sometimes-its-not-you-or-the-math-modern-love.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
By SARA ECKEL
Published: September 23, 2011
"My efforts yielded many friends and filled my calendar with fulfilling activities. I went on Internet dates, speed dates and blind dates. I had great hair and a confident smile. But I was still alone. And in the dark of Saturday night, I still asked myself, “What’s wrong with me?”
Mark and I dated for a month before I revealed my shoddy relationship résumé. When I did, he shrugged. “Lucky for me,” he said, “all those other guys were idiots.” And that was it. To Mark, I was not a problem to solve, a puzzle that needed working out. I was the girl he was falling in love with, just as I was falling in love with him.
Six years later, this past June, he and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. My close friends — the ones with whom I had shared many impromptu therapy sessions — had come to the wedding in a small Brooklyn park. And so had their husbands.
"Did we find love because we grew up, got real and worked through our issues? No. We just found the right guys. We found men who love us even though we’re still cranky and neurotic, haven’t got our careers together, and sometimes talk too loudly, drink too much and swear at the television news. We have gray hairs and unfashionable clothes and bad attitudes. They love us, anyway./
What’s wrong with me? Plenty. But that was never the point. "
I absolutely love what she said in this paragraph, because ive been there. At one point i thought there was something wrong with me, It wasnt going right with any guy I met and it seeemed to me it was always my fault, like I wasnt good enough. But she's right we need to stop looking for that perfect guy and stop trying to make ourselves look perfect as well, because perfect people don't exist. We need to find someone who will love us, in the mogning when we wake up and our hair is a mess, we have no make up on, and we complaing about the smallest things. Because we individuals are alot to work with! We just to find that guy who sees all of our faults and still wants to stick around because that doesnt matter to him, and he cares and all that matters is the love one another should hsare and take care of!
But does this have to do with my question? " Do you believe everything happens for a reason?" To Sara? NO! but to me YES! because I feel that if she had never met Mark at work or waited all these years wasting time with useless dates she would have never fugired out that she was falling in love with Mark just like he was falling in love with her! :)
I like that you out that part of the article out on your blog because it stood out to you. I agree with you, about if she didn’t date those other men she wouldn’t know what she wants in a man; someone that appreciates her for who she is. I hope everyone is fortunate to find that person in life but hopefully not by going through a difficult abusive relationship. No one should be with someone they aren’t happy with nor change themselves for that person to please them. Be that person for yourself. Make that positive change for yourself (unless you have kids, make that change for them and you) that’s what I think everyone should know. I also still believe things happen for a reason, I just wish those reasons were clear and straight forward.
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