http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rediscovering-love/201112/promise-keepers-the-committed-partners-who-stay-faithful-each-other
Rediscovering Love
How to identify behaviors that undermine love—and how to avoid drifting apart
"Before Todd and I met, I know I never shared my most vulnerable and embarrassing feelings with anyone. I could certainly share my anger and disappointments, but never things I thought guys would think were too stupid, self-indulgent, or threatening.
In this article Randi talks about all her couples that come in and talk about their previous relationships and what happenned to each one of them and why she felt like there was a reaosn to why it happenned the way they did. I think that saying that i quoted on top is a perfect example to my question " does everything happen for a reason?" because her patient pretty much said before she met Todd she couldnt be herlself around anyone else, which means that she met Todd so that she could have that best friend to go to and talk about anything. Thats definetly the best feeling ever :)
One of her patients topic was about infidelity. I hate it. I think people shouldnt cheat if the feelings arent there then you shouldnt be either. Its super easy to cheat, when you have the chance and you think people wont get hurt by it because youre just having a good time, but they do end up in pain because they trusted you with all they had. Trust is one thing you should never lose if you have gained it, because once youv lost it its really hard to get it back, chances are they wont probably ever trust you again.
"We" is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a "we" act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of "us" over anyone or anything else.
I think the word "we" means alot like she said in her article. It means they are together, they own everything as a couple. like for example when you get married, you need to get used to saying its "ours" instead of "mine" because that says its both of yours rather then yours and one doesnt feel left out!
Randi does an awesome job at what she does, she talks to couples who have problems and tries to make it better for them! thats one thing i wouldlike to do one day :)
I like how you quoted Marilyn Monroe, it makes perfect sense. :) I could agree with you on this, that people change and makes things complicated, ruins friendships, relationships or any type of matter. I could say I was in the same boat as you. We were once strangers that turned into friends at the beginning of high school. As the years went by we started becoming closer and closer. Soon we became best friends. I could honestly say he was my first best friend that was a guy because he seemed different than the rest. Like you said, he understood me and made me happy or cheered me up whenever I needed it. He made sure I was safe wherever I was going alone or he would just come with me to make sure I reached my destination. I could share or tell him anything and everything because I could trust him and he would give me advice on what to do. We shared a lot in common too which made things simpler. Then we ended up being in a relationship together which was the greatest because we loved each other. But, 2 years went by, things started turning around. He started to change in some way like someone was changing him. I didn’t know who he was becoming and it just made me feel like I was the reason. I then realized I was losing my “best friend” to another person. I just thought to myself, well people change for a reason, it’s just time to move on and let go. So that’s exactly what I did. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was very interesting to read. A lot of what it says is very true. Reading about what your relationship has gone through is a lot of what other people go through as I have but ended with a happier ending. People do change as a relationship last longer as I have with my late husband he changed in years as you I have seen him as a different person. It was hard to deal with but when I looked at it another side I was lucky to have him since he never hit me but he changed since he got very comfortable being around me so he said when I asked why his so different. As with you it was the same he made new friends and did things differently to which made me feel like I was also losing the person I fell in love with but he was the father of my daughter so to turn my back on him was hard to do but to be patient with him and wait for the person I knew to come back to me. We spent five lovely years until he passed away protecting his love for his family and his country. I know for a fact that with what you went through you will know in the future never to make the same mistake. Plus there may be someone better than the person you were with that would love you for who you are even if you push him away. Love is patient no more how hard it gets than you know you have found the right person.
ReplyDeleteIt’s amazing how much you can put your body through mentally, physically and emotionally. All these types of situations everyone goes through different yet similar. It’s sad to see you ladies go through a heartbreak and withhold a strong outlook about it and continue with your life. Not everyone is fortunate to find that significant other and have them for a lifetime, which everyone wants. One thing I seem to notice is that when someone finds that person they are meant to be with in some way down their road they are taken away from one another by death. I don’t know if it could be a coincidence. I am not sure. I have a cousin that has been with her high school boyfriend since they were freshmen, 11 years. A few years ago he was diagnosed with Leukemia. He fought as much as he could but didn’t make it last year. They were happy as ever, yeah they had their ups and downs but made it through as best as they could. It’s scary to know what our future holds and who we’re going to end up with. I just hope it is a positive outcome for you ladies and that you’re happy with who you choose to be with. I really enjoy reading this blog about your topic.
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